Those are my toes at the end of a hotel room bed. In utter silent bliss with me and my confetti thoughts and my laptop. I have a massive passion for spreading the word to women on how crucial a night away is (friends house/moms house/anywhere but your own) to reset/restore your emotional and mental health, but that’s for another post. I checked into blissful silence Wednesday and felt near atrophy setting in after all the hours not moving during feverish, jaw clenching email edits and life planning. Chris and a dreamy babysitter kept the house under control so I could dive into this process, to deal/delegate/dream/observe/exfoliate where needed, with the goal of creating something out of it all. 2 weeks into 40. Been fraught with beautiful moments and soul sucking ones, but I’m here and living them praise be to Jesus. In the midst of my beautiful babies, in the midst of the never ending (and I mean never ending) laundry, here in a restored marriage, with spilled milk on the floor, a really amazing/sometimes overwhelming work situation, fun personal news, not fun news from a family member greatly suffering mentally, and the devastating moments of shock and confusion from bullets flying and tornadoes twisting, I still LOVE the living. All of it. I want to be an ambassador for it. The lovely and the wretched. Try it all on. The screaming giggles and the silent tears, how lucky we are to have these snapshots. When joy is mustered up in the strangest of moments, and your own bravery to ride yet another wave is discovered, no matter how badly you wanted to reach the shore.

Let’s ease the suffering here folks, there is so much all around us that we are clueless to. Let’s saturate the dark with the light, and do the littlest things we can to make the littlest moments just a little bit better for whomever you can. Including yourself. People need you. You need you. Present and strong, even in the midst of the darkness. Stay awake for it, really awake. That’s all we have to do. He will give us the strength we need if you only ask, pinky promise. Hoping I get another opportunity tomorrow to do it all over again. We’re the lucky ones. Y’all sleep tight tonight…

xo holly

holly williams journal

The Lucky Ones

February 24, 2021